Steward Insights - Guided Growth Through Discipline: A JK-12 Framework Grounded in our Honor Code

The Steward School is a JK-12 community in which we guide and support young people through their learning and development. In recent parent surveys and conversations, parents have indicated an interest in better understanding our disciplinary approach and process. Here, we share our guiding principles through a JK-12 lens.

One thread that ties us together across three divisions is our Honor Code. In September, all three divisions held separate Honor Code Assemblies along with a formal process for students to sign the Honor Code. We ensure it is developmentally appropriate and helps our students understand the importance of being honorable in our words, deeds, and actions. (Lower School Honor Code; Middle and Upper School Honor Code) 

There are instances when students fail to uphold the Honor Code or stray from one of our core values. Each division has a process to address these scenarios and communicate what transpired to students and/or families. While individual disciplinary situations are always confidential to the student and their family, our process is consistent and based on our school values.

Students begin their school journey in Lower School, taking their first steps in understanding how personal choices can impact those around them. The root of the word “discipline” means to teach, and that concept is at the heart of conversations around student conduct in the Lower School.

As part of cultivating a proactive, connection-first culture, our Lower School adopted daily Morning Meetings many years ago. Structured around a greeting, a shared message, peer sharing, and a brief group activity, these gatherings establish a predictable, positive tone for the day and strengthen interpersonal bonds before academic instruction begins. In recent years, many classrooms have also added an Afternoon Meeting to their schedule immediately following their mid-day recess period. Recentering within the classroom community allows students to talk through social challenges that might have surfaced during the more unstructured portions of their day, such as lunch and recess. Community is at the heart of these important discussions. Faculty help students name their feelings, voice concerns, and determine how harm can be repaired. These classroom meetings, in addition to ongoing character education lessons, build the foundation for social-emotional learning in the Lower School.

Children make mistakes. That is fundamental to how they learn. Often when I am meeting with a student, I say, “Growing up is hard. That’s why we only do it once.” When issues require administrative attention, our first step is always to ensure that a student is emotionally regulated before conversations are had regarding consequences or next steps. As educators, our responsibility is to help students recognize the consequences of their actions as well as grow through that experience. This year, the Lower School has adopted a consistent set of guided reflection questions centered around four core questions: What happened? (identifying the action), How were others impacted? (building empathy), What choice will I make next time? (problem solving), and How will I make things right? (restoration). By employing this shared framework, we deliver clear, consistent messaging across our entire community regarding behavioral expectations, empathy, and personal accountability. 

Depending on the frequency or severity of the behavior, Lower School consequences range from brief reflection time with an administrator and loss of specific privileges to extended breaks from the classroom. Families are always informed via email or phone call regarding disciplinary action and may be asked for a family conference. Additionally, we may also utilize campus resources, including support from our Center for Engagement staff. While specifics and context of each behavioral infraction differ, having a framework allows for consistency in our Lower School practices.

In the Middle School, we recognize that the adolescent brain undergoes substantial development, especially in the areas responsible for emotional regulation, decision-making, and impulse control. As stated in the AMLE article, “Why Middle Schoolers Lie: And How Teachers Can Build Resilience":

 

“Middle schoolers are in a stage of rapid neurological change and heightened social vulnerability. Their brains swing between concrete and abstract thinking, so one day they may demonstrate advanced reasoning and the next revert to black-and-white thinking. This inconsistency is not willful; it is simply the reality of brains under construction.”

Recognizing that we are working with adolescent “brains under construction,” our philosophy is that discipline is an opportunity to teach the students, help them recognize mistakes, make amends for poor choices, and then move forward. When asking the Middle School students to reflect on their behavior,  we utilize the following questions from the International Institute for Restorative Practices, which align with the core questions used in the Lower School:

Our Dean of Students, Jack Knightley, reminded the Middle School students during our Honor Code signing in September that individual students are responsible for their impact on our community and the Honor Code is a pact that we collectively make — to be present, to be the best version of ourselves, and to support each other in times when we are struggling.

As we help Middle School students hone their decision-making and impulse-control skills, we recognize that Middle School students are on a continuum of concrete thinking to abstract thinking. Therefore, our consequences do not follow a strict sequence but allow for some flexibility depending on the age of the child, the specifics of a situation, and the prior learning opportunities for the student involved. Also, we work in partnership with our Middle School families so our Dean of Students is in contact with parents/guardians regarding any significant learning opportunities.

Our aim as a Middle School faculty and staff is to nurture our students and to help them build resilience, trust, and integrity so that they are able to regulate themselves with or without adult supervision as they head to Upper School and beyond.   

The Upper School views discipline as an essential part of the educational experience. We do not believe in focusing on punitive consequences, but rather take an approach that emphasizes learning, accountability, and personal growth. These are necessary steps for our students to develop into responsible, ethical, and independent young adults. Upper Schoolers are expected to meet clear behavioral and community standards. We recognize that they are adolescents still developing judgment, self-regulation, and decision-making skills. With that in mind, our consequences hold students accountable and help them understand the impact of their choices. This helps us move from simple compliance to serving as positive role models for our youngest Spartans in the community. That is one of many aspects I truly appreciate about a JK-12 school environment. 

It is our responsibility to clearly communicate our expectations while holding our students accountable and supporting their independence. Accountability exists in many forms, and our ultimate goal is for the students to develop personal accountability. We communicate expectations, policies, and consequences to our students. If a student makes a poor choice or violates community standards, we follow up directly and address a plan of action confidentially. 

Our students are still learning how to set themselves up for success, and we see a tremendous amount of growth in this area from freshman year through senior year. For example, students sometimes struggle to make the best choices at the start of Upper School. Ninth graders tend to be excited by the “freedom” within their new classroom setting. The decision to sit with friends in class may lead to decreased attention and engagement in class. As a result, our teachers may choose to address the distractions through the use of a seating chart. On a larger, more intentional community scale, the Upper School implemented a new cell phone policy in 2025. Students in grades 9-11 turn their phones in to their advisor when they get to school and do not have access to their device at all throughout the school day. Seniors are allowed to keep their phones, but have strict limits on when and where they can use them. Through this structured approach, we are balancing an acknowledgment of developmental readiness with a deeper goal of student agency. 

As our students matriculate through the Upper School, our expectations for appropriate and responsible day-to-day behavior increase. This can refer to arrival time of our student drivers, to classroom behavior, to completing work independently. When students fail to meet an expectation, our response varies based on the severity of the action and how we can help them best learn from the lapse in judgment. In some cases, there are low-stakes consequences such as a lunch or afternoon detention. However, Honor Code violations such as plagiarism, cheating, or theft may go before the Honor Council, composed of student representatives and faculty advisors (non-voting members), and may result in a more serious consequence such as out-of-school suspension. 

 

We are committed to clear communication, consistency, and trust in these expectations and consequences while maintaining confidentiality. It is our goal to empower our students to make sound decisions, recognize the impact of their behavior, and regulate themselves without constant adult intervention. Our tiered approach to consequences allows for students to recognize and change their behavior before it reaches a point of necessary escalation.